![]() That's putting the women in the position of 'Okay, it's okay for me to be treated that way.'"īrushing off this behavior teaches boys negative messages too, Adler points out: "It's also kind of giving assent to guys that are kind of picking on somebody to get their attention." When you wave off this behavior, it's a wasted opportunity to teach boys healthy ways to express their emotions and the importance of respecting the girls in their lives. If a young girl talks about how some boy is teasing her at school, her guardians and teachers will often say 'oh, that just means they like you…. That's a troublesome message, especially given the high rate of teen girls and women who report dating violence: loveisrespect, an organization dedicated to educating young people about abusive relationships, reports that "girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence - almost triple the national average." Jess Adler, program director for the peer leadership program Start Strong Boston, says, "It can be really confusing. ![]() The first problem with "I bet he likes you" is obvious: it teaches kids that mean or aggressive behavior towards another person is an acceptable way to show affection. Those words - 'maybe he just likes you' - are so familiar and so dangerous." In this blog post, we'll explore how this phase teaches both girls and boys to normalize unhealthy relationships - and denies them the chance to have the fulfilling, respectful friendships and romantic relationships they deserve. I began wondering: Where does this behavior come from?. Barbara Dee, author of Maybe He Just Likes You, a new middle grade book tackling this issue, says "I spent a lot of time following the #MeToo stories that were everywhere in the news. In recent years, however, people have started reexamining the toxic message this often well-intentioned phrase sends. When girls get teased, harassed, or bullied by boys, there’s often someone who pulls out this tired phrase: "I bet he likes you!" Many women have vivid memories of being told that by adult authorities when they were young and the same phrase pops up seemingly everywhere, including children's literature and movies. ![]() Violence and aggression are never signs of love or affection.
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